All these years
I tried to save you
from self-destruction.
Now
in these final days —
however many are left —
you have won.
A thousand choices
led to your demise.
Suicide by cancer
is a hellish way to go.
Your loose grip on life,
your soaring spirit,
never seemed quite
at home here.
Your beauty,
your mystery
entranced my heart
all that time.
I loved you Lynn.
In fact,
I love you now.
That love will never die.
There is a star in the sky
that is your star,
and I know that
the night you die,
some people will see
a shooting star
headed that direction.
That will be you,
heading home,
a long, long way from here.
I will miss you Lynn.
I already do.
Your infectious smile,
your easy laugh.
Our gorgeous bodies
enmeshed in love,
our sweat dripping
on each other
as we walk from
the dance floor.
This, today,
is our final dance.
Except in dreams,
there is no more hand to hold,
no more turns to make,
no more waters to sail.
I wish you a good voyage
to your final star.
Know that on that day,
I will stand
on a bridge,
or in an open field.
I will look up
eager for one last glimpse.
I will raise my hand,
wave to you —
and through my tears,
and through my grief
call to you
Goodbye my love!
Goodbye!
Anthony Signorelli
Note: This poem was written over five years ago, just before she died. It’s never been published before.
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